Today I spent the day almost entirely alone. I love it. Words cannot convey the satisfaction I get from knowing that I can, and will quite deliberately, spend hours in my own company. I think back to a few years ago, when I was still with Tim, the horreur I felt at the prospect of being alone for the evening or heaven forbid the weekend. But after we split (and after a prolonged adjustment period) I grew to love it. Savour it. Learnt to enjoy food I cooked myself simply for myself. That period of loneliness means that I am forever self sufficient. I can cope alone (not that I want to. I love Mark more than anything on this planet)... but I can if I have to.
I laid in bed at least two hours after waking - sniffing the freshly washed bedsheets and reading a rather fantastic book by Sebastian Faulks called "Birdsong" (I am a bit out of date in this discovery methinks). Gripping stuff about WW1, combined with a love story. Reminiscent of "Atonement", but possibly better...
Andy Orgee and his family (my colleague at SunGard) popped in around lunchtime - he, and his lovely family are considering moving to Histon, and I was extolling its many virtues. Its such a beautiful and self contained village. In the afternoon I walked into Cambridge city itself, and mooched around the shops. Bought an inordinate amount of cheap jewellery and took advantage of the summer sales; got a lovely (and timeless) black dress for the funeral on Monday. Its the kind of thing that can expand and shrink with my forever changing body shape AND transcend the seasons, and that is no mean feat.
Heard from Andy and Srey Neath on Friday, and in memory of our times there decided to cook a delicious Cambodian inspired omelette tonight, served on a bed of Jasmine rice and stir fried pak choi, containing peppers, mushrooms and spring onions, and dressed with fish sauce and chili/garlic. Amazing how much those scents can take you back to a place.
Similar plans for tomorrow (Mark is working again). Perhaps some gardening, some shopping (mostly garden centres this time - need compost and wood shavings and new tomato plants, as I killed the last ones with too much 'love'... or too much fertiliser. Ahem...), and have invited Mark's Dad for the afternoon - hopefully to cheer him up a bit.
Anyway.... hope you are all well. Thinking of you all - especially those of you in Brisbane, Copenhagen, Madrid and Lowestoft. John, I also hope you and Rich and a great time in Spain.
Love
Hayls
xxxxx
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