A Late Newsflash!

Heh... my sister has to meet Prince Charles and Camilla in her shop tomorrow in Southwold (for those that don't know, my sister owns a fruit and vegetable store in Southwold called Crabapple, which specialises in locally produced organic foods). HAHAHAHA... she is *so* scared! What is the protocol? What do you say? What if they don't even bother coming in? Does one polish one's potatoes and wear an outfit befitting a royal garden party, or do you turn up in Jeans and an apron, and give the 'down to earth' impression. Shouldn't organic veg look dirty? The intricacies of it all would cripple me. Of course we are all incredibly proud of her... but really!

I have of course sniffed nonchalantly and told her to treat them like perfectly normal people - but considering I was rendered speechless and slack jawed at the sight of Timmy Mallet on the beach last week in Cornwall, I have no room to talk.

The most hilarious thing is that the media will want to speak to her afterwards. My Sister and I are deluded in thinking that we don't have a trace of a Lowestoft accent - but privately, we both realise that we are sadly mistaken. To avoid the truth, we try to avoid voice recordings.... HAHAHAH. Its all too much... I am extremely amused!

Love, Peace and "three of us in this marriage"... as they say in Southwold.
Much love
Hayls
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PS. When trying to find a picture of Timmy Mallet for this post, I found this podcast - which had an accompanying picture taken on that afternoon we saw him! Good old Timmy!

Planet Hayloids

So... what has been going on in the world of Hayley? Not an awful lot, so we will keep it brief.

Bit of minor trauma last week. I am officially about to be "tennantless" (not "talentless", although that is also true). For a brief time, I was actually unofficially about to be "tennantless", as my kindly letting agents conveniently forgot to tell me that this was my fate. It took a friend from Norwich, who just happened to be scouring letting agents' websites, to point it out. Annoying and most surprising. After the initial shock, I think that this may just be the kick up the butt I need. I don't like being a 'landlady' (is that the right term? Landlord? Landlady makes me sound a bit like Bet Lynch... not necessarily a bad thing... I just haven't got enough leopard print blouses for such an accolade, but I have got the earrings). I am thinking of selling up - perhaps a bit of a gamble in today's financial climate, but perhaps better than a couple of years down the line when I would be lucky to be able to buy a sherbet dib-dab with my profits. So, if anybody knows anybody that wants to buy a very slightly run-down, but exceedingly charming cottage on the top of Gas Hill... get in touch. It has 'potential'! It also has a bath dumped in the front garden at the moment... We are not amused.

Anyway... what else? We had a nice weekend - if not a little too boozy. Friday night, we walked into La Village, and quaffed many beers and talked crap with some of Mark's workmates. Saturday, we invited Mark's Dad and Sister and her two girls over for a nice BBQ. The weather was searingly hot, so we erected a sun shelter for the kids, and put the sprinkler on for them. This prompted much nudie girl running action - not for Caroline and I (thank God I hear you all gasp), but for the winks. In the evening, we went to a work colleagues BBQ in celebration of his recent engagement (Chris and Claire), and then went on to a late showing of Wall-E at the cinema. Absolutely charming... I loved the Wall-E character - would it be weird to say that I found him a bit Woody Allenesque? Most of all, I appreciated his love for "Hello Dolly" - like Wall-E, that film taught me everything I know today about emotions... ahem. ;-)

Sunday, I went over to Lowestoft. In the morning I paid a visit to Janine - who seems to be suffering a little in the early stages of her pregnancy. Her daughter, Lola, was feeling the affects of the previous day's sun, and didn't get out of bed until about half an hour before lunch... bless her. We caught up with each other - and sat in the garden, fretting over Al the guinea pig - who seemed to be incarcerated in some sort of torture device; a boiling hot hutch, which had no respite from the sun. I am sure I have seen similar device used by the Viet Cong Army - although we refrained from skewering him with bamboo sticks. We sipped lots of cold water in sympathy for his plight...

At lunch time, I joined my parents for lunch (yet another BBQ!) at Tracy's house - along with 'he who shall not be named', unfortunately. I guess you cant always choose your fellow lunch-guests... (I was wondering if that Hutch could have been made just very slightly bigger?). The afternoon bought more nudie sprinkler action - the boys set about making Tracy's brand new lawn into a mud slide, and seemed to do rather well in this endeavour. I pointed out that Mark made me levitate across the lawn some full two months after our lawn was installed, to prevent the roots from becoming damaged (and in fact, even now - winces when I walk on it in anything other than felt slippers... heh). Thank goodness he was at work on Sunday. I don't think he could have coped with scenes of such gratuitous lawn-abuse; he would have been compelled to erect an electric fence, complete with look-out towers and snipers. I went back to Mum and Dad's for a bit before going home - and they gave me gifts from their recent holiday to Jersey. Some 'black butter', and a beautiful pair of earrings made from coloured clay.

The last couple of days, there hasn't been much going on really. Alot of cleaning and errands, lots of food shopping, and much rubbing of my sub burnt patches (these are multiple). The most exciting thing that happened yesterday was that I was rooted on the spot when I heard this song on the radio... ah memories (miserable looking git, isn't he?! God, I'm so original). Thankfully, I was in my car - so didn't bust any embarrassing dance moves:



Much love and kisses to you all. Love, peace and Aftersun... as they say on Planet Hayloids.
Hayls
xxxxx

He's My Blonde Headed Stompie Wompie Real Gone Surfer Boy

Can you believe that that is the real name of a song? Apparently released by "Little Pattie" in 1963. Anyway... it thought it kinda summed up my recent holiday in Cornwall!



We had the most amazing week... Mark and I were joined by my Sister and her two sons, Henry (5) and Oscar (almost 2), in North Cornwall. We drew the short straw, and left early on Saturday morning, with a fully loaded car - it took us around six hours to make the journey to Harlyn Sands caravan Park, just a few miles out of Padstow. Tracy took the better option (much easier with children), and flew to Newquay in the afternoon - meaning that we were able to unpack a little, and then go and pick her up from Newquay airport. It all worked out a treat. We stayed in a spacious and immaculately clean static home, overlooking Harlyn bay - an absolutely amazing view of the beautiful coastline there. I must admit that I had reservations about staying in a caravan park (especially after our experience in Filey a few years back... shudder), but this more than exceeded our expectations. It was cheap (around £350 between us for the week), and the facilities were great; a large and well stocked playground for the children, fun activities with "Captain Crumble", and a spotless and largely empty indoor swimming pool, complete with a flume... Henry's idea of heaven. But what really really made it was the beach; a gorgeous and secluded little bay, just down from the larger Harlyn bay. It took just five minutes to walk down to it from the caravan, and it had rock pools and the like, where we managed to catch some amazing little fish and anemones in buckets. The hilarious thing was that Henry fancied himself as a bit of a Surfer dude. This was his first time on a little boogie board - but he was unstoppable! In fact, even Oscar had a go! As soon as Henry woke up in the mornings (ahem... a little earlier than we would have liked), he was shouting "Surf's Up Dude", and "You Rock"... after a week of this, even Mark and I became convinced that we were fully fledged surf bums ;-)

The weather wasn't bad at all - not exactly glorious sunshine all week, but we did have a couple of really warm sunny days, and the rest of the week it was warm but cloudy. Ideal conditions for taking the children to the beach - without having to worry about marinating them in factor 1000 sun lotion. Highlights of the week included:

• Some shopping in Padstow (beautiful shopping opportunities there - and all in the Sale!),
• Some nice meals out in Padstow. During one we got chatting to a couple and their children on a table next to us - and it turned out that the husband came from Histon, and we knew his grandfather! What a small world.
• Cycling to Wadebridge along the Camel Trail (with Henry on a Tag-along bike and Oscar in a trailer). This was made all the better when we stopped for lunch in a bird watching hut, and Henry and Oscar were convinced that they could see "Wall-e" (that Robot in that newly released film) on the sand some distance away from the trail. Watching Oscar calling him and gesticulating towards him like crazy, and listening to Henry's disbelief that "Wall-e" couldn't come over and talk to us will live with me forever! Who says that commercialism is wrong! ;-),
• Getting to watch dozens of Disney and Pixar movies and not feeling daft,
• We had a lovely BBQ on the beach one evening. The bay was completely empty, and we drew lots of flowers and love-hearts in the sand - then some people came to take our picture from the cliffs! The kids busied themselves with fishing in rock pools, while we snaffled cans of beer and ate sausages... bliss!
• Tracy and I went to Jamie Oliver's "Fifteen" restaurant on Watergate Bay, just outside Newquay. What a glorious meal. We went the whole hog and did the wine tasting menu alongside the tasting menu available in the evenings. Delicious pineapple and black pepper cocktail to start, followed by a cornucopia of delicious courses... ahem... I cant quite remember what they all were - but I had a delicious Lobster linguine thing as a "Primi", and duck as a "Secondi"... the toppings and complex salads accompanying it are too difficult to remember, but delicious nonetheless. We finished with a delicious selection of cheeses, coffee, sweeties and a rather scary taxi ride back to Padstow - where poor Mark had volunteered to babysit for the evening. I actually think he rather enjoyed it, and thankfully the boys were really well behaved.
• One evening we went to watch the children's entertainment with the children. God how we laughed and cried. Somehow, Henry and Oscar managed to get themselves on stage with "Captain Crumble" simply by doing an impromptu impression of a tribe of red Indians. You had to be there really... but it had me wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes for several hours afterwards!

Anyway... now we are back to reality with a bump. On the last day (Saturday), poor Tracy's alarm didn't go off (she was catching the early flight back to Stansted), so we had to drag two very bewildered little boys out of bed at 6am, and rush them out of the door with no time for breakfast. Bless... Then Mark and I followed on in the car, meeting them at ours and doing a quick luggage exchange, before she headed home. I actually thought before we went that I might be glad to see the back of them - not in a bad way, but in a wanting peace and quiet kind of way. Far from it... even Mark said he was having trouble not thinking about them when they had gone (he had been to Tesco, and found himself looking at kiddies stuff). Our little taste of parenthood couldn't have gone better... now to twist his arm a little harder ;-)

Love, Peace and "Surf's Up Dude"... as they say in Padstow.
Hayley
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PS. Photographs to follow...

Baby Gallery

The first proper snaps I have of Aiden and Campbell (born to Jen and John), and little Lucas (born to Andy and Srey Neath last Friday).... all together now.... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww................

Two Little Boys

Bear with me and my terribly tenuous connections! For some reason this was the song that popped into my head this morning - made all the more relevant by the nationality of the artist singing! ;-)

Anyway... GREAT BLOODY NEWS! Jen and John are the proud parents of healthy baby boy twins: Campbell William and Aiden Donald - both weighing around 6.7lbs. Waiting for more news and photos (hopefully) soon - and I cant wait.

Congratulations to you all... and especially to Lena. Two little brothers... lucky you! ;-) At least you wont have anyone stealing your toys and clothes, and you will have a constant stream of potential boyfriends in and out of your house... heh. Love you all lots
Aunty Poo Poo
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Love and Death

It's weird. Just lately, this blog seems to have turned into a record of births and deaths, and I'm just not sure how to make the 'middle-weight' stuff count as much. Maybe I cant... because boy, this stuff isn't half important to us all.

We buried my Nanny Brown on Monday. As funerals go, it was fairly pleasant. I hate the pomp and ceremony associated with funerals - the immediate family were packed into a large black car, and set off at walking pace - following the undertaker down my parent's road. The thing that made me smile (guiltily), was that the undertaker was a guy I went to school with. A slightly strange little fellow, that we all called Pob (after a similar looking 'monkey' puppet thing on children's TV). How cruel.

The service was very nicely done. My dad picked "I Did It My Way" as the song to be played as they carried the coffin into the crematorium. I must confess I was shocked by how much the funeral affected me. I can't say I wasn't expecting to feel sad, but I think I realised how big a part of my life she had been - someone I didn't see very often, or frankly wanted to see too often, but always there. Nanny had amazed us all by organising the funeral herself - right down to the hymns to be sung. They took on so much more poignancy knowing that she selected them herself. Thankfully, Dad managed to do his speech. This was the bit I was dreading most... what would he say, and how would he manage to get the words out? He did really really well - although I was struck by how young and small he suddenly looked. He wavered a few times over details (to be expected as he had no notes written down), but he had thought up an amazingly apt analogy for my Nan. He described her as a box of fireworks without a label. A short fuse... and once you lit it, you were not too sure of what you would get. It could be a red angry rocket, that would shoot up in the sky with a loud bang, singeing your eyebrows off as it went. Or, she could give the most gentle and colourful display - a wonderful spectacle, that could enrapture an entire audience. I thought it was lovely and very fitting... Afterwards, we had the 'wake' in the Jolly Sailors - got to see plenty of my Dad's cousins, and re-acquainted myself with a few family members that I hadn't seen in Donkey's years. Mark drove us home afterwards, and we went for a curry in the evening as I was too tired to cook.

The rest of this week seems to be going in a blur. Last night we went to see "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian**" at the cinema. Very pleasant film - perhaps a little dark for young children, but very well done all the same. I particularly liked the actor playing Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes?)... he does pass a resemblance to Keanu Reeves, so I guess that made him even more alluring ;-) Afterwards, we tried to take some of those blurry nighttime photographs of cars going down the A14... it was a bit late though, and the results were a little disappointing (not enough cars!).

[**Side note: Jen - the Narnia stuff always reminds me of the night we really sealed our friendship. Remember going to see "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" in that theatre, and being stuck in those vertigo-inducing seats in the Gods, despite having drunk three pints and being desperate for a wee?! How we laughed... carefully, so as not to wee ourselves of course!] 

Had some more bad news today. Poor little Barney (Jen's little spaniel) was knocked over and killed yesterday. I cant even imagine what an emotional rollercoaster she is on... she is due to have her twins tomorrow (a pre-booked caesarian). Jen - I really hope you can stay strong, and just look forward to your pending arrivals. Barney was a beautiful and thoroughly spoiled little Doggy, and we can rest assured that he lived the best life 'doggily' possible while he was here. God bless him.... that lovely little TFBIC. That mantle can never be taken from him...

Anyway... Jen, I cant wait to hear your news. I have already calculated that they will be born at sometime around midnight tonight my time (3:00pm your time). I shall raise a glass to you before I go to sleep... Robert is cooking me dinner tonight, so no doubt there will be some glasses around.

Speak soon and huge love and hugs to you all
Hayley
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Swallows and Amazons: The Pictorial Evidence

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hayleysbrown/sets/72157605994582753/

Happy On My Own

Today I spent the day almost entirely alone. I love it. Words cannot convey the satisfaction I get from knowing that I can, and will quite deliberately, spend hours in my own company. I think back to a few years ago, when I was still with Tim, the horreur I felt at the prospect of being alone for the evening or heaven forbid the weekend. But after we split (and after a prolonged adjustment period) I grew to love it. Savour it. Learnt to enjoy food I cooked myself simply for myself. That period of loneliness means that I am forever self sufficient. I can cope alone (not that I want to. I love Mark more than anything on this planet)... but I can if I have to.

I laid in bed at least two hours after waking - sniffing the freshly washed bedsheets and reading a rather fantastic book by Sebastian Faulks called "Birdsong" (I am a bit out of date in this discovery methinks). Gripping stuff about WW1, combined with a love story. Reminiscent of "Atonement", but possibly better...

Andy Orgee and his family (my colleague at SunGard) popped in around lunchtime - he, and his lovely family are considering moving to Histon, and I was extolling its many virtues. Its such a beautiful and self contained village. In the afternoon I walked into Cambridge city itself, and mooched around the shops. Bought an inordinate amount of cheap jewellery and took advantage of the summer sales; got a lovely (and timeless) black dress for the funeral on Monday. Its the kind of thing that can expand and shrink with my forever changing body shape AND transcend the seasons, and that is no mean feat.

Heard from Andy and Srey Neath on Friday, and in memory of our times there decided to cook a delicious Cambodian inspired omelette tonight, served on a bed of Jasmine rice and stir fried pak choi, containing peppers, mushrooms and spring onions, and dressed with fish sauce and chili/garlic. Amazing how much those scents can take you back to a place.

Similar plans for tomorrow (Mark is working again). Perhaps some gardening, some shopping (mostly garden centres this time - need compost and wood shavings and new tomato plants, as I killed the last ones with too much 'love'... or too much fertiliser. Ahem...), and have invited Mark's Dad for the afternoon - hopefully to cheer him up a bit.

Anyway.... hope you are all well. Thinking of you all - especially those of you in Brisbane, Copenhagen, Madrid and Lowestoft. John, I also hope you and Rich and a great time in Spain.
Love
Hayls
xxxxx

Babies Babies Everywhere...

Hang on to your horses. The world population is getting even bigger. I am positively surrounded by bulging tums right now - lots of burgeoning life!!! (mine is simply bulging due to food... but thats another story).

• Jen is due to have their twins on the 10th. Fingers crossed for them!
• Srey Neath in Cambodia is due to have her son in the next couple of weeks. A HUGE good luck to them.
• Janine is pregnant with her second one - a new sibling for little Lola!
• Francesca is also due this month (unsure of the date) - I hope the hypnotherapy is going to work!
• Marta is still doing well with little Gruno - due in November (fingers crossed for the 21st! ;-).
• Jean is also pregnant with her second one - another one with a Sister in waiting; little Eloise.

I will keep you all posted with progress, and no doubt some cute photees. (There are probably more that I am unaware of, or have forgotten!). Christmas is looking ever more expensive! ;-)
xxx

Charlotte's Revenge

Irony.

I spent the early part of yesterday evening fudging around in the garden. I even, casually squished a small spider that tickled the back of my knee whilst I was bending down to re-plant some fuschias I had purchased. I went indoors, cooked myself some delicious calve's liver for dinner, and roasted a ham joint that had been knocking about in my fridge for the last couple of weeks - a delicious glaze I make with sugar and mustard had been playing on my mind the last month or so....

Then I made a mistake. Mark was out with Noel, so I gratefully took the opportunity to scan my 'chick flick' shelf for something to watch on my portable DVD player in bed with a glass of wine... "Charlotte's Web". A nice 'lightweight' children's movie....

"This story begins when John Arable's sow gives birth to a litter of piglets, and Mr. Arable discovers one of them is a runt and decides to kill it. However, his 8 year old daughter Fern begs him to let it live. Therefore her father gives it to Fern as a pet, and she names the piglet Wilbur.

Wilbur is hyperactive and always exploring new things. He lives with Fern for a few weeks and then is sold to her uncle, Homer Zuckerman. Although Fern visits him at the Zuckermans' farm as often as she can, Wilbur gets lonelier day after day. Eventually, a warm and soothing voice tells him that she is going to be his friend. The next day, he wakes up and meets his new friend: Charlotte, the gray spider. Wilbur soon becomes a member of the community of animals who live in the cellar of Zuckerman's barn.

When the old sheep in the barn cellar tells Wilbur that he is going to be killed and eaten at Christmas, he turns to Charlotte for help. Charlotte has the idea of writing words in her web extolling Wilbur's excellence (such as "some pig"), reasoning that if she can make Wilbur sufficiently famous, he will not be killed. Thanks to Charlotte's efforts, Wilbur not only lives, but goes to the county fair--with Charlotte--and wins a prize.

Due to the short lifespan of spiders, Charlotte dies at the fair. Wilbur repays Charlotte by bringing home with him the sac of eggs she had laid at the fair before dying. When Charlotte's eggs hatch at Zuckerman's farm and most of Charlotte's daughters leave to make their own lives elsewhere, three (Nellie, Aranea and Joy) remain there as friends to Wilbur."

I could go on and describe my reaction to this misery-fest... but you get the picture. You will be pleased to hear that I managed to keep hold of my wine glass (and the wine), despite much heaving of shoulders, and the blurred vision I experienced whilst wiping snot bubbles out of my eyes. Anyone fancy taking a roast ham of my hands?