A sorry tale... not for the faint hearted (or remotely hormonal).
So... a couple of weeks ago, the weather started to turn (my favourite time of the year, it has to be said), and the usual parade of spiders started to take shelter in our home. I know that in the UK our spiders are not all that impressive, and in recent years I have a kind of respectful disdain for them, as opposed to the screaming hatred I had for them in my youth. I am still, to my shame, an occasional 'spider vacumer' - and have even been known to shake the hoover afterwards, to ensure that they are properly dead in there (rather than just a bit dizzy). Anyway... I noticed that an oddly shaped spider, of the "Daddy Long Legs" variety, had taken to wandering around my en suite bathroom, in a melancholy manner. If it is indeed possible for a spider to be melancholy. For some reason, I was unwilling to dispatch said spider to the Great Dyson Rollercoaster In The Sky, and congratulated myself on my supreme maturity, making a decision to leave it for a few days longer before hoovering it up at the weekend. My magnanimity knows no limits you see.
After a couple of days of mooching, the spider, aka "Lady Charlotte", settled into a corner and built a very cosy little web. Again, for some reason, I resisted the faint urge to take her to task, and merely contemplated her moody grimaces and fat tummy (whilst brushing my teeth before bed). The next morning I was greeted with a glorious sight. Well, a sight, anyway. At first I thought that her web had been INCREDIBLY successful overnight, and she had managed to catch a trillion greenfly in her neat little web. On closer inspection (by teetering on the loo seat no less), I noticed that the 'greenfly' were in fact, a hundred or so tiny baby spiders! I had also noticed that LC looked a good deal slimmer (although still had a bit of a baggy tummy), and had that slightly shocked look that new mothers normally have. My heart melted.
So then, my mind turned to my holiday in Cornwall. I knew that in two days' time I was going to Cornwall on holiday, and that my parents were house sitting. I couldn't possibly mention to my mother *not* to dust away the spider's web, as that would be insane, right? I contemplated creating my own web with "What A Spider!" woven into it, but knew that my supplies of cotton wool and Prit Stick were limited (plus, how to disguise my handwriting?). So, I had to leave it to the Spidery Stars.
On return, I amazingly found the web still in tact! Since my Mum is to spiders, what Jamie Oliver is to Black Spot Pigs, it is nothing short of a miracle. LC had moved away a little, and the babies had grown quite a bit. (clearly her milk had 'come in'). So I decided to leave them there, until the babies were old enough to flee the nest. A couple of days ago, though, I noticed that Mummy was absent... However, I had read that after 9 days, Mummy spiders tend to abandon all hope of ever having a moment to themselves, and go on a spider retreat, leaving the kids to look after each other.
***THE SAD BIT***
At 08:32 hours this morning, I was in the shower, when I discovered the body of a female spider lodged between the shower sponge, and the pink hair conditioning comb (that I never use). To my horror, I identified said spider as LC; the melancholy look, the saggy tummy and the greasy hair were a dead giveaway.
As I gave her a moving sea burial with the aid of the shower head, I actually found myself looking up at her progeny, which seem to have scattered themselves all over my bathroom, and said out loud "you did it!"
I'm not entirely sure what the point of this story is. Is it an amazing story about fate, life, maternal sacrifice, the Universe and everything. Or is it a cry for help from a grown woman that has decided to document the fact that she is now reduced to having conversations with dead spiders? I will await the men in white coats with anticipitaion.
Anyway... at what age do you think it would be acceptable to hoover up the little buggers that have made webs all over my ceiling?
Friday, September 21, 2012
Thursday, September 06, 2012
The Trouble With Blogging...
...is that sometimes I am too busy living life to blog about it, and then it all kind of mounts up, and it feels like too much to mention in the blog. It's what I call 'bloggers block'; kind of like 'event constipation'. Anyway... I feel like I need to get this one out of the way.
Last weekend, Ewan was three. "Big Boy Three", as he refers to it.
I am hoping that "Big Boy Three" is going to be like "Fun Boy Three" (not three weird guys singing with Bananarama), but more fun than "Bloody Awful Twos", which were unspeakably dreadful - and partially responsible for my extended blogging silence. I was always taught that if you had nothing constructive or pleasant to say, then don't say anything at all. Iona's entrance into the world, combined with Ewan's apparent discovery of the word "No", and the phrase "Go away Mummy" whilst simultanously trying to pee in inappropriate places purely to cause me consternation caused a nuclear fallout in our household.
So this year, I thought I would do it different. We dropped the party. Perhaps it was that that sent him headlong into several months of toddler meltdown last year? Heh. Let's take that excuse and run with it. Or perhaps it was the fact that for the last two years I have thrown a huge party in his honour, only to find that I am doing it alone, and that I have invited far too many people. Since it is frowned upon to drink your way through a toddler party, I thought it safest to drop it. Instead, we had a lovely outing to Whipsnade Zoo... which was enjoyable, and almost entirely meltdown free. Only the elephants went on the rampage, and that turned out to be 'part of the show'. Watching Ewan's little face when the elephants pretended to ransack a 'man village' whilst Iona egged them on with excited whoops was worth it alone! Lightning McQueen barely featured this year for Ewan. Spiderman is king, despite the fact he has never seen the movies. He went to bed on his birthday with a tummy full of red and blue cake, and a pair of Spiderman socks (and a nappy and a dummy, but we won't mention those).
The highlights of the rest of the weekend were a visit to the Maize Maze at Milton with Adele, and her three children; Ella, Angus and Seb. Who says that looking after five children between two adults is difficult?! ME!!! Repeatedly! ;-) Honestly, the number of times I saw Ewan streaking past in a little blur as he ran between bouncy castles, slides and trampolines, only to find that as I turned my head for a second to look at Iona tipping into a mud pile, he had in fact gone elsewhere (out of sight) is too depressing to report (and I wold probably be reported to social services). They did however have a fantastic time, and we will definately be doing it again next year - but only if I manage to balance out the child/adult ratio a little more.
On Saturday, my parents came to visit, and we took the children to a car boot sale. Needless to say, that despite the fact that a) I could do with having my own car boot sale to get rid of the stack of plastic toys littering my house, and b) it was going to be Ewan's birthday on Sunday, I still managed to go home with a large plastic dinosaur, a plastic 'Woody' from toy story, and an all singing and dancing farm set. Not to mention a 'french' painted coal scuttle, that has received nothing but sneering looks from one of the male householders since it arrived home ;)
Today though I am feeling a little sad. Ewan is having his last day at his nursery. The nursery that have looked after him since he was 7 months old, and where he feels he fits in. We are dragging him kicking and screaming to a new nursery, which has outstanding Ofsted reports and is half the price. A no brainer really... I still can't help feeling a little bit heartbroken for him - especially as he is completely oblivious to the fact that today *is* his last day. We have told him, but he doesn't really understand it. I know that life will be full of much harder decisions than this... but still.
Last weekend, Ewan was three. "Big Boy Three", as he refers to it.
I am hoping that "Big Boy Three" is going to be like "Fun Boy Three" (not three weird guys singing with Bananarama), but more fun than "Bloody Awful Twos", which were unspeakably dreadful - and partially responsible for my extended blogging silence. I was always taught that if you had nothing constructive or pleasant to say, then don't say anything at all. Iona's entrance into the world, combined with Ewan's apparent discovery of the word "No", and the phrase "Go away Mummy" whilst simultanously trying to pee in inappropriate places purely to cause me consternation caused a nuclear fallout in our household.
So this year, I thought I would do it different. We dropped the party. Perhaps it was that that sent him headlong into several months of toddler meltdown last year? Heh. Let's take that excuse and run with it. Or perhaps it was the fact that for the last two years I have thrown a huge party in his honour, only to find that I am doing it alone, and that I have invited far too many people. Since it is frowned upon to drink your way through a toddler party, I thought it safest to drop it. Instead, we had a lovely outing to Whipsnade Zoo... which was enjoyable, and almost entirely meltdown free. Only the elephants went on the rampage, and that turned out to be 'part of the show'. Watching Ewan's little face when the elephants pretended to ransack a 'man village' whilst Iona egged them on with excited whoops was worth it alone! Lightning McQueen barely featured this year for Ewan. Spiderman is king, despite the fact he has never seen the movies. He went to bed on his birthday with a tummy full of red and blue cake, and a pair of Spiderman socks (and a nappy and a dummy, but we won't mention those).
 |
| Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can... |
The highlights of the rest of the weekend were a visit to the Maize Maze at Milton with Adele, and her three children; Ella, Angus and Seb. Who says that looking after five children between two adults is difficult?! ME!!! Repeatedly! ;-) Honestly, the number of times I saw Ewan streaking past in a little blur as he ran between bouncy castles, slides and trampolines, only to find that as I turned my head for a second to look at Iona tipping into a mud pile, he had in fact gone elsewhere (out of sight) is too depressing to report (and I wold probably be reported to social services). They did however have a fantastic time, and we will definately be doing it again next year - but only if I manage to balance out the child/adult ratio a little more.
On Saturday, my parents came to visit, and we took the children to a car boot sale. Needless to say, that despite the fact that a) I could do with having my own car boot sale to get rid of the stack of plastic toys littering my house, and b) it was going to be Ewan's birthday on Sunday, I still managed to go home with a large plastic dinosaur, a plastic 'Woody' from toy story, and an all singing and dancing farm set. Not to mention a 'french' painted coal scuttle, that has received nothing but sneering looks from one of the male householders since it arrived home ;)
Today though I am feeling a little sad. Ewan is having his last day at his nursery. The nursery that have looked after him since he was 7 months old, and where he feels he fits in. We are dragging him kicking and screaming to a new nursery, which has outstanding Ofsted reports and is half the price. A no brainer really... I still can't help feeling a little bit heartbroken for him - especially as he is completely oblivious to the fact that today *is* his last day. We have told him, but he doesn't really understand it. I know that life will be full of much harder decisions than this... but still.
Monday, August 13, 2012
There Were Four in the Bed, and the Little One Said...
So, we did it again. The third time this year that we have been 'camping' with the two children for a long weekend. Quite why we have opted to do something that turns something as simple as even washing the dishes into an epic task is beyond me, but we can't seem to help ourselves ;)
This time we opted to go to Outney Meadow in Bungay. I know. Bungay. We holidayed in Bungay. No matter how I try to dress it up, it always comes back to the same thing. We holidayed in Bungay.... However, Bungay is surprisingly nice. A slightly odd little town, in that it has lots of very exclusive looking shops and eateries, and lots of not very exclusive people trudging around the streets looking like zombies, and making the place look, well, a little 'grubby'. Of course, we fit in a treat. Iona had camping hair to die for, and Ewan managed to filthy up every item of clothing he possessed, and ended up wearing pyjama bottoms for some portion of the weekend.
The campsite itself was very busy (for some reason it was full of people all claiming to hail from Lowestoft), and would have been alot nicer were it not for the proximity of the main road from Bury St. Edmunds to Lowestoft. Who knew there were *that* many motorbikes and lorries on the road at 2am on a Saturday morning? It was however very pretty (our tent was about 20 yards from a gorgeous bit of the river), and we did have live entertainment in the form of a small group of 6 rather morose 'friends' (3 couples), who I suspect went to University together, and spent the entire weekend wondering why the hell they kept in touch. We watched them eat their burnt sausages in silence, and took bets on who would manage to smile next. Their petulant looks in our direction, whilst stroking their carefully coiffured 'bed head' hairdo's were all the more delicious, as we were safe in the knowledge that Iona would be waking them at 'God Awful O'clock' in the morning, as for some reason she prefers her drinks to be served slightly chilled at 5am when under canvas. To add to the entertainment, we had the 'Queen Camper' come to greet us on the hour, and take Iona for cuddles in her caravan with her pit bull dog :/ It's great that kids do not judge, but I do wish that Iona wouldn't constantly blow kisses at such people. This woman looked like a cross between Don King and Bet Lynch, with more gold jewellery than Liberace. She eyed us keenly out of the lacy curtains of her mouldy static caravan (which she seemed to attribute an actual personality too - and constantly referred to as "she") and I knew we were in trouble. Ewan did enjoy playing with her swingball set though, and was fascinated by her tattoo collection. So that's good then.
Friday we explored the mean streets of Bungay, and enjoyed a jaunt around the castle there. Ewan made us laugh our heads off by pretending to run as fast as Bolt around the grounds.
Saturday was a trip to Beccles, an impromptu visit to a rock festival there (??!!! ahem), and a really lovely afternoon in Southwold - culminating in Ewan rolling naked in the sea and turning blue with the cold, and Iona throwing up all over herself on the Pier. What day out would be complete without her doing that? Having said that, she is a HUGE deal better than she has been of late. She had a suspected tummy bug around ten days ago, and has been randomly throwing up since. I think a good course of probiotics for kids have really sorted her out - and turned her back into the eating machine she so naturally is. We did manage to get both children fed and in bed snoring by 8pm; so Mark and I feasted on a bag of Monster Munch each, and fought (almost literally) over a small bag of peanuts because neither of us could be bothered to go and get ourselves a take-away from the vast array available in Bungay. At least we had organised wine ahead of time, so that was good.
Sunday saw us visit an aircraft museum in Flixton (I can't wait until Iona is bigger, and we get to drag those boys to a Princess Castle Extravaganza instead... are there such things?), and in the afternoon we went to my Grandparent's 65 wedding anniversary. 65!!!!! Can you imagine? Quite frankly, I found just the one year of marriage a bit of a struggle (clearly). I think it helps enormously that my Nanny has been deaf for the last twenty or years or so :) It was a lovely afternoon... lots of cakes, and got to see my lovely cousin Liza, who lives in the US and is expecting her much awaited first child later this year; I am so so happy for her. My Nanny was proudly showing everyone the Telegram from The Queen that I organised for them - despite the fact that my Grandad almost refused to sign for it from the postman, as he thought it was some sort of elaborate hoax that was bound to end in them losing all their money and home, or some such. :-) Our arrival home last night with two exhausted children was thankfully uneventful, and I even managed to sit down with a glass of wine and revel in a smug-fest re: Team GB, and watch the very quirky closing event for The Olympics.
The campsite itself was very busy (for some reason it was full of people all claiming to hail from Lowestoft), and would have been alot nicer were it not for the proximity of the main road from Bury St. Edmunds to Lowestoft. Who knew there were *that* many motorbikes and lorries on the road at 2am on a Saturday morning? It was however very pretty (our tent was about 20 yards from a gorgeous bit of the river), and we did have live entertainment in the form of a small group of 6 rather morose 'friends' (3 couples), who I suspect went to University together, and spent the entire weekend wondering why the hell they kept in touch. We watched them eat their burnt sausages in silence, and took bets on who would manage to smile next. Their petulant looks in our direction, whilst stroking their carefully coiffured 'bed head' hairdo's were all the more delicious, as we were safe in the knowledge that Iona would be waking them at 'God Awful O'clock' in the morning, as for some reason she prefers her drinks to be served slightly chilled at 5am when under canvas. To add to the entertainment, we had the 'Queen Camper' come to greet us on the hour, and take Iona for cuddles in her caravan with her pit bull dog :/ It's great that kids do not judge, but I do wish that Iona wouldn't constantly blow kisses at such people. This woman looked like a cross between Don King and Bet Lynch, with more gold jewellery than Liberace. She eyed us keenly out of the lacy curtains of her mouldy static caravan (which she seemed to attribute an actual personality too - and constantly referred to as "she") and I knew we were in trouble. Ewan did enjoy playing with her swingball set though, and was fascinated by her tattoo collection. So that's good then.
Friday we explored the mean streets of Bungay, and enjoyed a jaunt around the castle there. Ewan made us laugh our heads off by pretending to run as fast as Bolt around the grounds.
Saturday was a trip to Beccles, an impromptu visit to a rock festival there (??!!! ahem), and a really lovely afternoon in Southwold - culminating in Ewan rolling naked in the sea and turning blue with the cold, and Iona throwing up all over herself on the Pier. What day out would be complete without her doing that? Having said that, she is a HUGE deal better than she has been of late. She had a suspected tummy bug around ten days ago, and has been randomly throwing up since. I think a good course of probiotics for kids have really sorted her out - and turned her back into the eating machine she so naturally is. We did manage to get both children fed and in bed snoring by 8pm; so Mark and I feasted on a bag of Monster Munch each, and fought (almost literally) over a small bag of peanuts because neither of us could be bothered to go and get ourselves a take-away from the vast array available in Bungay. At least we had organised wine ahead of time, so that was good.
Sunday saw us visit an aircraft museum in Flixton (I can't wait until Iona is bigger, and we get to drag those boys to a Princess Castle Extravaganza instead... are there such things?), and in the afternoon we went to my Grandparent's 65 wedding anniversary. 65!!!!! Can you imagine? Quite frankly, I found just the one year of marriage a bit of a struggle (clearly). I think it helps enormously that my Nanny has been deaf for the last twenty or years or so :) It was a lovely afternoon... lots of cakes, and got to see my lovely cousin Liza, who lives in the US and is expecting her much awaited first child later this year; I am so so happy for her. My Nanny was proudly showing everyone the Telegram from The Queen that I organised for them - despite the fact that my Grandad almost refused to sign for it from the postman, as he thought it was some sort of elaborate hoax that was bound to end in them losing all their money and home, or some such. :-) Our arrival home last night with two exhausted children was thankfully uneventful, and I even managed to sit down with a glass of wine and revel in a smug-fest re: Team GB, and watch the very quirky closing event for The Olympics.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Missing In Action....
And so... I have decided to resurrect the blog. I realised when I read the blog I wrote almost two years ago how much it taught me about Ewan (stuff I never thought I would forget!), and it made me sad to think I wouldn't be able to look back on this stuff in the future... so here goes! Expect a few more updates from me over the next couple of days. Most of it will be to do with Ewan, and of course my gorgeous little daughter Iona.
xxx
xxx
Friday, October 01, 2010
Slovenia, October 2010 Slideshow
Slovenia, October 2010 Slideshow: "TripAdvisor™ TripWow ★ Slovenia, October 2010 Slideshow ★ to Cambridge, Bohinjska Bistrica and Bled by Hayley Brown. Stunning free travel slideshows on TripAdvisor"
Friday, July 23, 2010
This is Absolutely A List Of My Extremely Favourite Things
I thought I would give you a run-down of what I have been up to lately (and what I like doing) - most of the things I like and dislike, I feel extremely ever so strongly about!
- Remote controls - I LOVE them. I LOVE them so much, that when I get one in my hands, I do a special trembling thing, which means that I ABSOLUTELY EXTREMELY LOVE something. Mummy gets concerned when she sees me doing my special trembling thing, but I don't care because I EXTREMELY LOVE IT.
BTW... I don't like remote controls that are actually given to me to play with - these are ones that clearly do not work... Mummy and Daddy must think I am daft! - Light switches - let me touch one, and I am happy. I like to look upwards after I have pulled a string, to double-check whether the light has come on. Sometimes it doesn't work - particularly when it is attached to some of Mummy's clothes, or hanging off Mummy's ear. Very annoying.
- Balls - what can I say... it is a distinct contender for my First proper word (other than Dada and Mumumum)... along with "Ted", "Flower" and "Woof". Throwing balls is my fave game, and I am really rather good at it. I have decided I prefer Netball to Football though - Mummy told me it is much more exciting.
- Walking with my walker - this makes me giggle so much, because I am so EXTREMELY good at it! Sometimes though it makes my knees go wobbly when I laugh too much, so I have to stick my tongue out to help me concentrate. I wish I could make it go in a straight line though - then I could properly chase the cat with it!
- Mia - I would actually like to give her the biggest hug ever, and pull those long tickly things on her nose. Its just such a shame that she is so extremely busy all the time, and has to go out when I try to talk to her.
- Water - I EXTREMELY love it. I like to bath in it, and drink it, and save it in my mouth so that I can spit it at Mummy when she doesn't suspect I have it. This makes her pull a funny face, and I just have to laugh at her because she looks so silly. I am such a big boy because I can drink it out of my own cup. Hilarious!
- Iggle Piggle - Iggle Piggle is my idol - I want to be just like him. The other day I was watching him on TV and he did a big sneeze and fell backwards. That was SO funny, so I tried it too. How come it hurt me, when it didn't seem to hurt him??? Very confusing! Upsy Daisy is also quite cool - particularly when she dances. It makes me want to shake my bootie when she does that! Me and Mummy do lots of silly dances throughout the day - although I obviously look less ridiculous than Mummy, who seems to get a bit carried away with herself at times. I also love The Waybuloo and Tellytubbies... and the music to Chuggington and 64 Zoo Lane make me giggle.
- Telephones - again like remote controls, the pares keep fobbing me off with pretend ones of these - but I absolutely extremely LOVE talking to Nana on the phone when Mummy lets me. It makes me do all my heavy breathing routine, which Nana loves. Sometimes though I have been known to ring wrong numbers, and cut off people when they are talking when Mummy isn't concentrating. Silly Mummy.
- Cuddly toys - I love to nose my big Teddy, and give him special hugs. The best thing is when he lets me try to put my dummy in his mouth - HILARIOUS! I also love my red sausage dog that Aunty Jen bought me in Austalia - he has prompted me to start saying "Woof" whenever I see him!
- Sandwiches, blueberries and Yoghurt - yum yum yum! I will not ever, NEVER eat an avocado though!
I have been tricking Mummy for quite some time into thinking that I can only eat things as thin as soup (I like to see her with a furrowed brow)... however, whenever I am with my friends at nursery, I like to eat all sorts of lumpy things! I had managed to keep it a secret for quite some time, until Mummy ruined my fun and started poking around and talking about me behind my back. I thought she had sussed me out a while back when I started eating bird poo and leaves in the garden without pretending to gag - silly Mummy didn't catch on for AGES though!
Ewan
xx
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
I Feel Good, I Knew That I Would Now...
You will be pleased to know that I am feeling so so so much better this week - although, as ever I have the normal 'number 11' nose thang going on, and a few patchy rashes. I like to keep a few ailments on the go just so that Mummy and Daddy don't rest on their laurels! I had been having so much fun with Mummy and Daddy while I was sick last week though that I didn't want to go to nursery yesterday or today - so have been needing extra cuddles from the girls there. Rhiannon, my special girlfriend at nursery, is not even there to make me feel better. I will make Mummy pay for this later by refusing to go to sleep without at least 100 extra kisses!
Anyway - here is a picture of me on my ten month birthday last weekend. I am trying to think of new ways to get into cupboards without Mummy noticing - you can tell by the expression on my face that it's a very difficult thing to puzzle out.
I have some nice plans for the rest of the week (aside from bloomin' nursery again tomorrow). On Friday day-time I am meeting Aunty Jane and my friend Benjamin for lunch, and in the evening my Nanny and Grandad arrive for the weekend. I can't wait to see Nanny again so that I can do my special heavy breathing thing that we like to do when we see each other. I'm not sure why she does this, but I join in and make her think that it's my idea. Over the weekend I will be thinking of my Australian friends Campbell and Aiden - who are having their big boys 2nd Birthday! YAY! I hope they will give my Mummy some ideas of what to do for boys on their birthdays, as my first one is only two months away now!
Have a great Wednesday!
Lots of love
Ewan
xx
Anyway - here is a picture of me on my ten month birthday last weekend. I am trying to think of new ways to get into cupboards without Mummy noticing - you can tell by the expression on my face that it's a very difficult thing to puzzle out.
I have some nice plans for the rest of the week (aside from bloomin' nursery again tomorrow). On Friday day-time I am meeting Aunty Jane and my friend Benjamin for lunch, and in the evening my Nanny and Grandad arrive for the weekend. I can't wait to see Nanny again so that I can do my special heavy breathing thing that we like to do when we see each other. I'm not sure why she does this, but I join in and make her think that it's my idea. Over the weekend I will be thinking of my Australian friends Campbell and Aiden - who are having their big boys 2nd Birthday! YAY! I hope they will give my Mummy some ideas of what to do for boys on their birthdays, as my first one is only two months away now!
Have a great Wednesday!
Lots of love
Ewan
xx
Friday, July 02, 2010
An Eventful Week...
So this week I have been REALLY poorly, and even ended up in the hospital on Wednesday, to get me checked out. Thankfully, despite the fact I gave the impression that I was dying at the GP's office when Mummy got home from work, I managed to get myself round so that I was on top 'charm offensive' form for the nurses once I got to hospital... a pretty blonde one even called me Handsome! Although Daddy swears that she was talking about him instead! Anyway... the reason I had to go was because I wasn't drinking enough yummy water, and I also had such a sore mouth that I had to hang it out to get the cool air to it... clearly a great look ;-) They decided to give me a horrible noisy spray for my tongue (which I DO NOT like having), but it does help me to eat as it makes my tongue go all tingly. In fact yesterday (Thursday), I even managed to eat some soil from a pot plant once my tongue was all numb - but Mummy is never satisfied and made me spit it out! Sheesh!!
Anyway... Mummy says we have a pretty dull weekend coming up as we have to stay away from all other children, in case I give them one of my special licks and give them my nasty illness. I actually think its gonna be great, as I will get Mummy all to myself (Daddy is working all weekend), and make her run up and down while I find "dangerous" things to do! She gets SO cranky when I pull myself up to standing by those things on the wall, and stick my wet fingers into the little holes! I am SOOOOOOOO clever these days! I even almost stood up by myself today, but it made me laugh so much that I fell over before I could show Mummy properly. I will show Iggle Piggle later in my cot...
Anyway... Mummy says we have a pretty dull weekend coming up as we have to stay away from all other children, in case I give them one of my special licks and give them my nasty illness. I actually think its gonna be great, as I will get Mummy all to myself (Daddy is working all weekend), and make her run up and down while I find "dangerous" things to do! She gets SO cranky when I pull myself up to standing by those things on the wall, and stick my wet fingers into the little holes! I am SOOOOOOOO clever these days! I even almost stood up by myself today, but it made me laugh so much that I fell over before I could show Mummy properly. I will show Iggle Piggle later in my cot...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Hostile Takeover Bid...
So, Mummy is pretty rubbish at all this blogging stuff just lately. She pretends that she doesn't get time, but I know for a fact that she finds time to update her Facebook account, so I don't know what her caper is! Therefore, I am taking a leaf out of Lenabel McShearer's book and am taking over the blog! I am much more eloquent than Mummy anyway... and much better looking.
Anyway - I have been causing a bit of trouble just lately with various illnesses I have been picking up from nursery. They keep telling me not to lick other children, but I just can't help myself - they all taste so good. At the moment I have Hand, Foot and Mouth diease, which they tell me is a nasty old virus. It has made my mouth really really sore, and I can't seem to make my mind up about what I want to eat. When I try to eat what Mummy gives me, it hurts all the sores in my mouth - even though I am really hungry! So I have to keep getting grumpy old Mummy out of bed to give me milk at *just* the right temperature (not too hot and not too cold) - which she seems to be struggling with. Silly Mummy. It's such a shame that I have this virus as I can't go to nursery and play with my friends, or even better, follow my beloved Rhiannon around. She has lovely long eyelashes, and very pretty long hair which I like to clutch on to - especially when she tries to ignore me and play with other children.
So, I had better let Mummy get back on the computer and do this 'work' thing she keeps bleating about. I thought you would like to see a picture of me first though that was taken on a recent camping trip to North Norfolk. It was my first time in a tent, and I loved how hot and sleepy it made me... I have seen Mummy sleeping like this some nights after she has been out, and it looked like a cool thing to do ;-)
Milky kisses
Ewan
Anyway - I have been causing a bit of trouble just lately with various illnesses I have been picking up from nursery. They keep telling me not to lick other children, but I just can't help myself - they all taste so good. At the moment I have Hand, Foot and Mouth diease, which they tell me is a nasty old virus. It has made my mouth really really sore, and I can't seem to make my mind up about what I want to eat. When I try to eat what Mummy gives me, it hurts all the sores in my mouth - even though I am really hungry! So I have to keep getting grumpy old Mummy out of bed to give me milk at *just* the right temperature (not too hot and not too cold) - which she seems to be struggling with. Silly Mummy. It's such a shame that I have this virus as I can't go to nursery and play with my friends, or even better, follow my beloved Rhiannon around. She has lovely long eyelashes, and very pretty long hair which I like to clutch on to - especially when she tries to ignore me and play with other children.
So, I had better let Mummy get back on the computer and do this 'work' thing she keeps bleating about. I thought you would like to see a picture of me first though that was taken on a recent camping trip to North Norfolk. It was my first time in a tent, and I loved how hot and sleepy it made me... I have seen Mummy sleeping like this some nights after she has been out, and it looked like a cool thing to do ;-)
Milky kisses
Ewan
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Ok...
So - baby Ewan is here (and more than seven months old, can you believe!), and I am back at work... I will try to get some blog updates back on the cards... (but not today!).
Looking forward to sharing some Ewan-ness with you!
Hayls
xxx
Looking forward to sharing some Ewan-ness with you!
Hayls
xxx
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Eviction Notice..
Dear Piglet,
I am issuing a 60-day notice for EVICTION. Tenant will have 60 days in which he can either gather his/her belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, he/she will be physically removed from the property. He/she's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made. Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper and lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances. After 60 days from this day that he/she doesn't comply to the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.
I am issuing a 60-day notice for EVICTION. Tenant will have 60 days in which he can either gather his/her belongings and promptly vacate the premises, or wait until the final day. After which, he/she will be physically removed from the property. He/she's being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made. Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. And due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper and lower levels of the home. On top of which, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances. After 60 days from this day that he/she doesn't comply to the notice will result in immediate and forceful removal at my discretion.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
You might have noticed...
I don't blog an awful lot. Its not that I am lazy (although I am), its just that I don't actually trust myself to write anything but a big whinge-fest re: my various minor but irritating pregnancy related medical symptoms... heh.
Anyway - I thought I would save it all up and get it out all in one go ;-)...
Things they didn't tell me (or I didn't listen to):
1. You will get heartburn! I have NEVER had heartburn and am experiencing this charming little state of affairs for the first time. I get it mostly when I am hungry, or when I have just eaten... read that as ALL THE BLOODY TIME! If the old wives tale is correct - this baby has more hair than Justin Hawkins riding a Yak, wearing an Afghan coat and an afro wig!
2. You will feel as though you have a concrete ball in your pelvis (dropped from a great height, and suddenly). This one is kind of obvious, but for some reason I thought that you would just expand gradually and barely notice that you have 2 stone of blub cradled between your pelvic bones... let me tell you THIS DOES NOT FEEL NATURAL! :-)
3. You will end up with feet like Fred Flintstone. I know that I had a head start on this one (since I am already Frodo's foot double), but this is just plain silly.
4. If you are already well endowed in the 'chest' area, I thought you would be immune to expansion. I thought that my girls had done their bit for mankind at High School age, and would leave it at that. Oh no no no... I have gone from slightly silly sized to WOOOAAAAHHHHHH MAMMA sized - and lets just wait to see what they do when this milk comes in! I have already decided to try and sell the surplus supply, and pay for us all to go on holiday to Disney when Piglet is five. Either that, or pay for myself to have a breast reduction as soon as I am done having babies...
5. You will never ever sleep again... between getting out of bed to pee several times a night (looking somewhat like Guy the Gorilla when you finally manage to climb over the mountain of pillows and make your escape from the clutches of the sweat drenched sheets), getting kicked from the inside in unspeakable and previously unimaginable places, and being startled awake by sudden random dreadful thoughts, such as "will I ever be able to go to the cinema again???", "how will I know how many times to change the baby's bottom?!?!", "what if the baby is really ugly, and I don't realise?!?!?"... I might be able to snatch a few minutes of nightmare fuelled slumber, whilst perched on my left-hand side as I desperately try to improve blood flow to my poor fat little hands and feet.
6. You will forget from time to time that you are pregnant... and do ridiculous things (like run to cross the road), which bring you concerned/psychotic looks from other people. In fact - being pregnant means that you are not supposed to swear, flirt (ever so slightly, of course), drink anything vaguely resembling an alcoholic drink (not that I have - but have been told off for drinking alcohol free shandy, of all things!), tell dirty jokes... or even look like you might have anything other than baby-related thoughts. Appearing as though you are the Virgin Mary is required at all times... without the shawl and sandals though. Actually... a wedding ring might have helped me achieve this a little better - but hey, who's looking.
7. You get used to being regarded as public property - people have the right to fondle your fat belly and ask you all manner of personal questions... and then flame you for them.
8. You will get unspeakable rashes and pimples in unspeakable places (I hear that many of these are contracted via the illegal export of Australian textiles... heh). The less said, the better.
9. You will no longer remember your name... or what you were doing five seconds ago.
10. You will no longer remember your name... or what you were doing five seconds ago.
Anyway. Other than that, everything is just great, and I am adoring pregnancy. Ahem. To be honest though, I can't really complain too much... things are going great. We had a scan last week, and Piglet is doing really well (still big!) - soooo cute, he/she yawned and rubbed his/her eyes as if he/she was bored stiff by all the prodding and cooing. Piglet is breech at the moment, and his/her rather large head seems to be wedged under my right-hand rib (charming), so am trying to stand on my head for at least three seconds a day to rectify that ;-) Seriously though... I have read that you can try various tricks to try and get bubba to turn - my faves were playing classical music through headphones pressed on your pelvis (heh), and trying to get the baby to follow a slow moving torch beam - like a moth to a flame. My own other solution was to play some Danish music up around my rib area, and it is sure to flip of its own accord. I got my test results back for gestational diabetes, and everything is good with that - so like I said, things are not so bad.
The house extension seems to be coming along at a rate of knots... I wont go into some of the more tedious details of the actual progress, but needless to say it all goes alot more smoothly when Mark is on site to keep an eye on things (*things* namely being his father and his 'brickie' friend). There has been all manner of debris on the lawn (gasp), and an unprecedented amount of wiping of the kitchen floor. Nightmare.
That's all for now... here is a lovely picture of me taken last week by Sophie in her garden. I am mostly laughing at her children, who thought that the whole concept of taking my picture in my present state was ridiculous as I am "so fat"! Kids... you gotta love 'em! Chloe (her 8 year old) did make me smile when she asked how I would know it was Mark's baby, as he and I are not married... I think he is asking the same question ;-)
Lots of love,
Hayls
xxxxx
Anyway - I thought I would save it all up and get it out all in one go ;-)...
Things they didn't tell me (or I didn't listen to):
1. You will get heartburn! I have NEVER had heartburn and am experiencing this charming little state of affairs for the first time. I get it mostly when I am hungry, or when I have just eaten... read that as ALL THE BLOODY TIME! If the old wives tale is correct - this baby has more hair than Justin Hawkins riding a Yak, wearing an Afghan coat and an afro wig!
2. You will feel as though you have a concrete ball in your pelvis (dropped from a great height, and suddenly). This one is kind of obvious, but for some reason I thought that you would just expand gradually and barely notice that you have 2 stone of blub cradled between your pelvic bones... let me tell you THIS DOES NOT FEEL NATURAL! :-)
3. You will end up with feet like Fred Flintstone. I know that I had a head start on this one (since I am already Frodo's foot double), but this is just plain silly.
4. If you are already well endowed in the 'chest' area, I thought you would be immune to expansion. I thought that my girls had done their bit for mankind at High School age, and would leave it at that. Oh no no no... I have gone from slightly silly sized to WOOOAAAAHHHHHH MAMMA sized - and lets just wait to see what they do when this milk comes in! I have already decided to try and sell the surplus supply, and pay for us all to go on holiday to Disney when Piglet is five. Either that, or pay for myself to have a breast reduction as soon as I am done having babies...
5. You will never ever sleep again... between getting out of bed to pee several times a night (looking somewhat like Guy the Gorilla when you finally manage to climb over the mountain of pillows and make your escape from the clutches of the sweat drenched sheets), getting kicked from the inside in unspeakable and previously unimaginable places, and being startled awake by sudden random dreadful thoughts, such as "will I ever be able to go to the cinema again???", "how will I know how many times to change the baby's bottom?!?!", "what if the baby is really ugly, and I don't realise?!?!?"... I might be able to snatch a few minutes of nightmare fuelled slumber, whilst perched on my left-hand side as I desperately try to improve blood flow to my poor fat little hands and feet.
6. You will forget from time to time that you are pregnant... and do ridiculous things (like run to cross the road), which bring you concerned/psychotic looks from other people. In fact - being pregnant means that you are not supposed to swear, flirt (ever so slightly, of course), drink anything vaguely resembling an alcoholic drink (not that I have - but have been told off for drinking alcohol free shandy, of all things!), tell dirty jokes... or even look like you might have anything other than baby-related thoughts. Appearing as though you are the Virgin Mary is required at all times... without the shawl and sandals though. Actually... a wedding ring might have helped me achieve this a little better - but hey, who's looking.
7. You get used to being regarded as public property - people have the right to fondle your fat belly and ask you all manner of personal questions... and then flame you for them.
8. You will get unspeakable rashes and pimples in unspeakable places (I hear that many of these are contracted via the illegal export of Australian textiles... heh). The less said, the better.
9. You will no longer remember your name... or what you were doing five seconds ago.
10. You will no longer remember your name... or what you were doing five seconds ago.
Anyway. Other than that, everything is just great, and I am adoring pregnancy. Ahem. To be honest though, I can't really complain too much... things are going great. We had a scan last week, and Piglet is doing really well (still big!) - soooo cute, he/she yawned and rubbed his/her eyes as if he/she was bored stiff by all the prodding and cooing. Piglet is breech at the moment, and his/her rather large head seems to be wedged under my right-hand rib (charming), so am trying to stand on my head for at least three seconds a day to rectify that ;-) Seriously though... I have read that you can try various tricks to try and get bubba to turn - my faves were playing classical music through headphones pressed on your pelvis (heh), and trying to get the baby to follow a slow moving torch beam - like a moth to a flame. My own other solution was to play some Danish music up around my rib area, and it is sure to flip of its own accord. I got my test results back for gestational diabetes, and everything is good with that - so like I said, things are not so bad.
The house extension seems to be coming along at a rate of knots... I wont go into some of the more tedious details of the actual progress, but needless to say it all goes alot more smoothly when Mark is on site to keep an eye on things (*things* namely being his father and his 'brickie' friend). There has been all manner of debris on the lawn (gasp), and an unprecedented amount of wiping of the kitchen floor. Nightmare.
That's all for now... here is a lovely picture of me taken last week by Sophie in her garden. I am mostly laughing at her children, who thought that the whole concept of taking my picture in my present state was ridiculous as I am "so fat"! Kids... you gotta love 'em! Chloe (her 8 year old) did make me smile when she asked how I would know it was Mark's baby, as he and I are not married... I think he is asking the same question ;-)
Lots of love,
Hayls
xxxxx
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef...
Well, I guess it was kind of obvious by my size... but this little Piggy is going to be a biggie!I had my appointment with the midwife yesterday (I won't go into what I think of her here... but lets just say she I am glad she will not be attending the birth!). Anyway... everything looks just great - and she measured my bump (the fundal height - from my pubic bone to the top of my uterus?) for the first time. I am measuring 2.5 weeks ahead of what I should be, which isn't *that* unusual (the uppermost edge of normal). But she gave the bump a squeeze to ascertain baby's position and size etc... and started pulling startled faces. "WOW! That is one chunky baby!"... apparently the enormous bump is not all amniotic fluid, or 'me' (as I supposed), but is 100% fat little Piggy!
Hurrah! That means I might not be the size of an elephant by Xmas this year after all... am looking forward to dumping at least half of my 2 stone-ish (12.7 kg) weight gain on the day it is born. :-)
I know that there are really really obvious drawbacks to having a large baby - but I am trying to be positive and not dwell on those (much!). I think having separate front and back bottoms is over-rated anyway... heh.
I knew what I was getting into... Mark was 10lb 4 when born, and I was 9lb 12 - so it was never going to be 'petite'... am considering taking up smoking or cocaine for the rest of the pregnancy, to try and stop things getting out of hand! ;-) I dont want Norris McWhirter turning up on my doorstep with his clipboard! (ok - so I know he is dead, which makes it unlikely... but its not so funny without Norris involved!!!).
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Very English Affair...
Our weekend, that is! ;-)
Had a delightful, and all too quick weekend. The big extension started in earnest at the weekend - we got the footings poured (yay!) - which is more of a relief for me than you can imagine, since this is the only part of the entire project that I have project managed as such... did you know exactly how many different types of concrete you can get - and how badly it can all go wrong if you mess that up? No... neither did I ;-)
The rest of the weekend though felt like a complete holiday in 1950s England... Saturday evening Mark and I drove up to Lowestoft, and had a delicious BBQ in Tracy's gorgeous back garden. She has done a really beautiful job of it, and created a real Victorian cottage garden look. I did mess it up a little by buying Henry a "Slam Dunk" basketball set for his 6th birthday this week - but it kept them healthily amused for the entire evening! It didn't occur to me that she will be able to get revenge on me this year onwards by buying me all manner of plastic atrocities for my home and garden in the name of little Piglet... heh. We stayed the night at Tracy's, and on Sunday we went to a garden centre in the morning (quelle surprise), and in the afternoon we had an absolutely fabulous time visiting Somerleyton Hall, on the outskirts of Lowestoft. I forgot how beautiful this place was (we used to visit as children), and how much fun the maze was in the gardens. Henry was in his element - although Oscar had a sort of terrible-twos 'meltdown/tantrum/screaming fit' in the maze, which may just have put me off parenthood a little... gulp! In the evening we had delicious fish and chips, again at Tracy's place, and chatted the evening away before retiring to bed (early!).
Bank Holiday Monday, Tracy had to work (in her goldmine of a shop), so Mark and I made our way over to yet another Garden Centre (Woottens?) in Wenhaston, before joining my parents and the boys in The Pit Stop in Southwold. This is an ace little cafe on the golf course in Southwold, which caters for children in so much as it has an enclosed garden chock-a-block with garish plastic toys and tricycles etc... (the boys love it), and for adults in that it serves delicious cakes, breakfasts and coffees. After downing coffee and cake, we took a wander into Southwold, and had yet more drinks etc... on the pier, before meeting Tracy for a delicious picnic (supplied by her shop!). After lunch, we meandered around the fair on the green (picking up yet MORE plants for the garden), and Mark and I headed off, having enjoyed our weekend immensely.
Sunday evening, Mark had Noel over, and I went to pay Robert and Emma a long overdue visit... and of course, as usual was spoilt with Robert's delicious cooking. This time roast chicken with the most delicious ratatouille I have tasted in a long time, accompanied by some 'sea breeze' asparagus I bought at the fairground in Southwold... bliss. Umm... I forgot to mention that we followed this up by slightly less classy fare - strawberry trifle from Tesco, sprinkled with Gü chocolate brownies, and organic double cream. Pregnancy does have *some* upsides ;-)
Lots of love
Hayls
xxx
Had a delightful, and all too quick weekend. The big extension started in earnest at the weekend - we got the footings poured (yay!) - which is more of a relief for me than you can imagine, since this is the only part of the entire project that I have project managed as such... did you know exactly how many different types of concrete you can get - and how badly it can all go wrong if you mess that up? No... neither did I ;-)
The rest of the weekend though felt like a complete holiday in 1950s England... Saturday evening Mark and I drove up to Lowestoft, and had a delicious BBQ in Tracy's gorgeous back garden. She has done a really beautiful job of it, and created a real Victorian cottage garden look. I did mess it up a little by buying Henry a "Slam Dunk" basketball set for his 6th birthday this week - but it kept them healthily amused for the entire evening! It didn't occur to me that she will be able to get revenge on me this year onwards by buying me all manner of plastic atrocities for my home and garden in the name of little Piglet... heh. We stayed the night at Tracy's, and on Sunday we went to a garden centre in the morning (quelle surprise), and in the afternoon we had an absolutely fabulous time visiting Somerleyton Hall, on the outskirts of Lowestoft. I forgot how beautiful this place was (we used to visit as children), and how much fun the maze was in the gardens. Henry was in his element - although Oscar had a sort of terrible-twos 'meltdown/tantrum/screaming fit' in the maze, which may just have put me off parenthood a little... gulp! In the evening we had delicious fish and chips, again at Tracy's place, and chatted the evening away before retiring to bed (early!).
Bank Holiday Monday, Tracy had to work (in her goldmine of a shop), so Mark and I made our way over to yet another Garden Centre (Woottens?) in Wenhaston, before joining my parents and the boys in The Pit Stop in Southwold. This is an ace little cafe on the golf course in Southwold, which caters for children in so much as it has an enclosed garden chock-a-block with garish plastic toys and tricycles etc... (the boys love it), and for adults in that it serves delicious cakes, breakfasts and coffees. After downing coffee and cake, we took a wander into Southwold, and had yet more drinks etc... on the pier, before meeting Tracy for a delicious picnic (supplied by her shop!). After lunch, we meandered around the fair on the green (picking up yet MORE plants for the garden), and Mark and I headed off, having enjoyed our weekend immensely.
Sunday evening, Mark had Noel over, and I went to pay Robert and Emma a long overdue visit... and of course, as usual was spoilt with Robert's delicious cooking. This time roast chicken with the most delicious ratatouille I have tasted in a long time, accompanied by some 'sea breeze' asparagus I bought at the fairground in Southwold... bliss. Umm... I forgot to mention that we followed this up by slightly less classy fare - strawberry trifle from Tesco, sprinkled with Gü chocolate brownies, and organic double cream. Pregnancy does have *some* upsides ;-)
Lots of love
Hayls
xxx
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I’ve Had The Time Of My Life…
And so the manic weekend went on! So, a month or so before Christmas, Tracy and I thought it would be lovely to treat Mum and Dad to a much talked about trip to the theatre to see Dirty Dancing… I know… why would my Dad want to see that? Anyway… May was around the first date that came up with vaguely sensible prices for tickets (still extortionate!) – and it happened to be the same weekend that I had tickets for Morrissey… nevermind I thought! It will just be an exciting weekend! Urggghhhh… my pregnancy body says no!!!! ;-)
To reduce the amount of fannying about on trains etc… Tracy drove the four of us from Lowestoft to Cambridge on Saturday – and left the car at the Station, ready for our late return home. We got the train into London, and hit Borough Market (our first destination) at lunchtime – just in time for all the delicious stalls to start serving finger food! YUMMMMMMMM… I have to say that I LOVE Borough Market with a passion – a fantastic jumble of expensive but totally classy cakes, fruit, fresh fish and meat, sweets and chocolates (fudge!), pickles, jams, and just about about any luxury food item you can think of! My Dad (how does he stay so skinny!) managed to polish off at least four type of cake within thirty minutes of arriving there, shortly followed by fish and chips for lunch! :-D
In the afternoon, we had a deeply pleasant time wandering around Convent Garden (interspersed with lots of drink breaks and toilet breaks for me!), and had a leisurely tea in Wagamama… foodie heaven! By this time my feet were starting to look like a pair of footballs (I do not exaggerate!), and we resisted attempts by my Father to drag us down to China Town and all of my Sister’s attempts to drag us into as many clothes shops as possible. In my ‘former’ pre-pregnancy life I would have been right there with her – but these days there is nothing more depressing for me than looking at racks of clothes I *might* have been able to wear if I wasn’t the size of a barrage balloon!
A long and arduous journey home was made slightly better by the forethought of leaving Tracy’s car at Cambridge Station (thus avoiding the rabble in the taxi queue) – and on arrival home we were met by another welcome sight – the start of our new ‘family’ sized home… Poor Mark had been killing himself digging the footings for the two-storey house extension we are having! Man the trenches… and hold on to your horses!
NB. The picture above was the original Christmas Card we sent to my parents, informing them that they were seeing the show! It still makes me chuckle every time I see it… sometimes I just think I am too funny for this world ;-)In The Seaside Town, That They Forgot To Close Down…
On Friday, I attended a Morrissey concert in Great Yarmouth of all places with Ricki (very old and dear school friend) and Janine and Simon for a bit of a trip down memory lane. What a fantastic evening – albeit incredibly surreal!!
Early evening I went to pick up Ricki, and we filled our boots at a carvery in Gorleston (all you can eat carvery for £5!) – not exactly conducive to a night on the tiles, but bloody delicious all the same! We managed to get parked right next to the Britannia Pier (the venue of Morrissey’s choice, bizarrely!), which I haven’t been to since I was a kid – and was dragged to see the likes of Cannon and Ball or Freddie Star by my parents! We had a couple of drinks in the bar on the pier (again, surrealism reigned – and we saw a few familiar faces from the dim and distant past), and then made our way to the theatre. Thankfully, one of the crowd going had queued for an inordinate amount of time and saved us seats five rows from the front – I must confess to feeling slightly guilty when we made our way straight to the front!
Morrissey was fantastic! Whereas in the past (some ten years or so back when I saw him last), he would begrudgingly play one or maybe two Smiths songs with a pained expression on his face, he must have devoted around a third of his set to his old stuff – enough to keep me very happy indeed! I was shocked by how much older he looked, I have to say… although the guy could still move, despite apparently being ill for a week beforehand (several of the gigs in the week leading up to this one had been cancelled!). I was also surprised to see how some of his backing band had aged – although life on the road can’t be kind to the body!
I must be getting old or something though… when he ripped off his shirt (as he normally does on such occasions) I actually blushed for him – it was vaguely like watching ‘yer Dad’ getting undressed. Certainly not the gusset ripping reaction he would have got from me in the past… although to be honest, even Johnny Depp standing on my doorstep in the nude would have trouble firing up such feelings in my achy limbs at the moment! During the build up for an encore (in the past I would have been galloping towards the stage, screaming for more), I was cooing at pictures of Janine’s new baby Martha… see? There isn’t any hope for me, is there???!!!!This Little Piggy...
Again, as for every other post this year, I am starting with an apology. Life has been a veritable whirlwind these last few weeks – and I hardly know where to start! It’s not like anything in particular has happened – just lots of things that have prevented me having access to a PC!
I can’t for the life of me remember where I left off… so can’t fill in all the gaps, but hey – I will have a bit of a go!
Denmark to Visit Sofie
Mid-April I went to visit Sofie and Jean in Copenhagen. We had a lovely, quiet weekend (just what I needed) – a far cry from my usual hedonistic weekends in Sofie’s company! On the Friday when I arrived, Sofie had cooked her delicious meatballs in curry (honestly – I could live on them!), and as Jean had gone out for the evening playing with his band, Sofie and I spent several hours catching up with other and putting the world to rights over a few cups of hot water on my part, and red wine on hers :-) On the Saturday we went to the out of town shopping centre in Copenhagen called Fields, met Sanne and her gorgeous little boy Sebastian for lunch, and did a spot of shopping for maternity clothes (since I am the size of a house end these days!). I had come down with a pretty miserable virus, so I lacked energy for shopping and we headed home laden mostly with Danish pastries and cough remedies. In the evening we went to a party, which in normal circumstances I would have loved… but on that particular night I couldn’t breathe through my nose, and for some reason Danish banter is not so funny when you are sober and having a little viral pity party of your own… anyway – the people and food were great, but I was sufficiently pouty to prompt Sofie to take me home nice and early so that we could watch American Pop Idol whilst propped up in her electric bed!
On the Sunday we had a fab day at Copenhagen Zoo – just wandering around and eating ice-creams. The Zoo was pretty well kept, although as with any Zoo, some of the animals looked pretty bored and some were displaying that sort of rocking behaviour – reminiscent of me on a Friday afternoon at work ;-) It was nice though – loved the polar bears (one of which was having a whale of a time with a severed sheep skull), and the otters – who were just gorgeous.
Scanorrific!
The rest of the day didn’t go so well – and seems to have set a bit of a precedent for the past two or three weeks. Because I was feeling so crappy with the virus, I didn’t return to work in the afternoon after the scan and decided to loaf on the sofa. However – when I tried to get up to answer a call of nature, I found that I couldn’t walk because of a terrible pain in my pelvis or lower back and bum cheek. It turns out that I somehow sprained my sacroiliac ligament in my pelvis, and ended up on crutches for a few days (and off work for almost a week)… :-(
From Bad to Worse…
The few days of reprieve after my sacroiliac sprain are a bit of a blur (can’t remember that much exciting happening that week), but on bank holiday Monday things turned a little worse for me health wise! For the previous couple of weeks or so we had been looking forward to watching Histon play Torquay at home in the playoffs for promotion to League Two of the football league. The first leg of the match had been played in Torquay a few days previous (we had lost that one), so we knew that we had it all to do in order to reach the final at Wembley. Anyway… I was due to work on the turnstiles and sell programmes, and I felt fine for that – although I had had a nagging rib pain for a couple of days beforehand, and I had just put it down to pregnancy aches and pains… I had only spent about five minutes in the turnstile, when feeling the urge to sneeze (just as a guy came to the gate), I twisted and tried to suppress the sneeze a little so as not to give the guy an unwelcome shower… OUCH! Blinding, excruciating pain and a sort of ‘twang’ or clicking noise. I managed to carry on for a little bit, but could hardly focus, let alone be pleasant to queuing fans…
Jo (a colleague there) offered to cover for me, and I managed to make my way to the media suite at the football ground… thinking all along that a well positioned stretch would sort it out, and I could resume my position on the turnstile, and better still, make my way to my seat to watch the match. This was not to be… the football club doctor (my saviour) was called, whose calmness and gentle but terribly sensible manner and straightforward manner, made me see that the excruciating pain I was feeling (and by now, ripping muscle spasms) were not going to be helped by attending a football match – and more worryingly, the pains were very likely to be muscle or ligament related, but could also be consistent with other more serious conditions which needed to be ruled out. A rather hysterical paramedic turned up, who (if I had had the strength) would have been punched for his insistent and seemingly ridiculous questions regarding the number I would attribute to the level of pain I was feeling (I was literally screaming in pain while he persistently asked this!) – although I know on reflection that he was trying to speed my progress to the correct department at the hospital. And so, an ambulance was called. To my pleasant surprise, Mark dropped everything and came with me to the hospital without even a hint of a pout – is it shameful to admit that I thought football would come first? hehehe…
The entire evening was spent at the hospital – mostly waiting… and everything was checked over thoroughly. I had an x-ray to check I hadn’t broken anything or punctured my lung, an ECG on my heart, and several blood tests to check for blood clotting and other more sinister conditions… pleurisy and the like. They offered me morphine for the pain (I refused on Piglet’s behalf), and gas and air – which is ironic since I am hopefully opting for a drug free birth! In the end I relented, and ended up taking a strong dose of codeine and some paracetamol – the only real options available for preggos! In the end they concluded that I had torn a muscle or ligament in my rib cage, and the only solution was to try and rest and treat the pain as best I could.
The next four days were spent in bed propped up on pillows and sucking on pain killers… poor Mark had to haul me out of bed every time I needed the toilet, and lower me onto it… feed me, wash me… and generally entertain me. It was a pretty miserable week – but at least I managed to finish knitting Piglet a jumper during this time!
Oscar’s Christening
On the following Sunday, I was up and about and even managed to drive myself over to Lowestoft for Oscar’s christening party (despite much soreness, and having to dose myself up with drugs). The christening went off smoothly – aside from Mark not turning up (he was one of the God Parents!) – but this was pre-known. Mark was heavily involved in the planning of a testimonial match for two well regarded and long serving players for Histon FC – and made it clear in advance that that was the one weekend in May he couldn’t do. As is the way, it turns out that this was the weekend Tracy booked the christening for – which seemed to go down like a lead balloon with some members of the clan. Nevermind… Tracy didn’t seem to mind, and Oscar was more affronted that the vicar called him “Oscar George” rather than “Oscar” during the service – he certainly didn’t seem to dwell on Mark’s absence! Aside from anything, Mark had already missed one match on my behalf, so two was going to be pushing my luck! I have promised not to go into labour at 3pm on any Saturday in September! ;-) Tracy did a lovely spread for the Christening – all sourced from The Black Olive, and a small ‘immediate family’ crowd attended… all very civilised, although totally exhausting for me!
I will start the rest of the catch-up on another post! Blimey….
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